Category Archives: Life lessons

Have you ever been told you have potential?  It is a good thing, but growing up, I found it infuriating.  Let’s look at the definition of potential from Dictionary.com.

po-ten-tial

 adjective

1. possible, as opposed to actual

2. capable of being or becoming

noun

5. possibility; potentiality

6. a latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed.

If you look at the first definition, you see that potential is possible not actual.  When I was a junior in high school, I tried out for the high school tennis team.  Having only played recreationally, I showed a lot of potential.  I was fine with that for a little while, but found myself becoming more and more frustrated.  I was getting better, but not as fast as I would like.  Potential to me was failure, not mastery.  My senior year (my second year of playing competitively) I was the #1 seed at our school.  I should have been thrilled with that!  But for some reason, I wasn’t.  After high school, I walked away from the sport for many years. I just felt I was not reaching my full potential.

It is really quite a sad story.  Potential is a variable, it can grow, stay stagnant or decrease, but if you have it, it is a great gift.  Some of us (me) are quite hard on ourselves when we cannot do things with excellence quickly.  We fail to recognize that excellence is a journey.  As you seek to develop your potential, don’t be so busy looking forward that you fail to look back and applaud all you have become.

 The true gift of potential is developing it.  Go for it!!

Yesterday, on the local news, I saw a story about the Honor Flight Network.  I had never heard of this non-profit before but they provide free trips for veterans to  visit Washington DC war memorials.  It is planned as a one day trip with the veteran and a guardian.   What a great gift!

A local group of WWII veterans was on the trip and as they were getting ready to take off and head home, their plane was grounded.  This forced all of them to stay the night in local hotels without a change of clothes or toothbrushes.  Many of these veterans were in wheelchairs and on oxygen. There was plenty for this group to complain about but one of the Dr.’s on the trip called this group, the “No Complaint Generation.”  What a great example these leaders set for the rest of us.

These veterans have set a great example of leadership not only in their service to our country but also in their behavior.  Great leaders don’t complain if things go wrong, they accept it as it is and make the best of it.  What a great gift they give us by their example.

You can watch the story here:Stranded vets make it home

 

 

 

 

 

 

In this video, The difference a friend can make, 17-year-old Jonathan and 16-year-old Charlotte sing together for Britain’s Got Talent.

I know the video above has gone viral, but I was so touched by it.  Charlotte is so encouraging to her friend.  Even though he is heavy-set and lacks confidence, she sees him for who he is, a nice guy and an amazing singer.  He stumbles in the beginning, but she still encourages him.  When he begins to sing, magic happens.

As leaders, our goal is to help others achieve their goals by encouraging them to believe in themselves.  Simon Cowell believes that Jonathan should dump her to better his chances, but he is a great friend.  As leaders, we hope those we encourage will outshine us.  Charlotte has given him an amazing gift and she is a graceful leader.

Jesse, Aundria and Noemie, just a few of our great support team!

I went to a pizza joint that is known for selling pizza for $5 that are hot and ready. Not the best pizza, but a great deal for $5, perfect for my son’s classroom party. My son has a food allergy to dairy so I called ahead and ordered the pizzas, along with his cheese-less pizza. I set the time for pick-up at 1:30. I arrived at the store at 1:25 and when I walked in, I heard someone yell, “Did you put those pizzas in for 1:30 pickup??” The response was, “I am putting them in now.” Then the young lady came to the counter and greeted me. I said, “I am the 1:30 pickup. I know I am a few minutes early.” The lady in the back, that was putting the pizzas in the oven, raised her finger, pointed it at me and said, “Give me a minute.”

Now, knowing you are reading this and cannot hear my tone, let me explain that she said this to me like an overly tired mom that is frustrated with her two year old. Not being a two year old, I politely smiled and took a seat thinking this lady must have had a very bad day. The girl at the counter, heads into the back with the finger pointing lady and starts yelling at how she told her the pizzas needed to be put in…the fighting went back and forth and then the conversation turned to yelling about having to wash the dishes.

Oh my!! As a business owner I was shocked at this behavior. The young lady returned from the back and I thought she was going to tell me that it would be just a few more minutes (since they have now serviced several people while I waited for my called in order), but that was not the case. She came up to the counter, looked past me and called to the girls in the back, “Mmmm, did y’all see the Pepsi Man today?!? He is lookin’ fine today!” Shocked beyond comprehension, I stood up and said, “Perhaps you would like to go ahead and ring me up so that once the pizzas are ready, I can go?” She looked at me and said, “Yea, that is what I am going to do.” Oh my…what an impression that experience left on me.

Normally, I am not one to complain to a manager but in this case, I just had too! I put in an online request and asked to have the store owner call me. Within 30 minutes I received an email and a phone call from the area supervisor. She listened to my story and offered me a free pizza. She said I could go in the store and they have a “book of remedies” that would have my name in it. I explained to the lady that I did not really want my name in their book (honestly I was afraid they would spit in my pizza), but she assured me the store had no idea why a person’s name was in the book. If only remedies could be found by offering $5 pizzas….I think life would be a lot easier, don’t you?!?

Everyone wants to feel special. The businesses that create this feeling, are the ones that will have the most success. Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was a place where a “Book of Remedies” wasn’t necessary? I suppose as long as we are all human we will just keep striving.

Where are your favorite places for good customer service? What places are the worst?

Honesty is the soul of Business-Dutch Proverb

 When I read that I couldn’t help but laugh a little.  Even my young children know that the things they see being sold on TV are not as great as they are promised to be.  In America, we are all too familiar with the greed of Wall Street, the ugliness of politics and dishonesty of many televangelists.

So how can the soul of business be honesty? I think that can be found in how we define honesty.  I have had several people tell me that white lies are fine if it moves you ahead.  I have also heard that honesty is fine as long as you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings…Ever been asked by your wife or girlfriend how she looks???

Honesty is not only “not lying”, it’s being honest with ourselves and others about our feelings, not excusing our mistakes or improper actions, but taking responsibility for them. Without honesty, the rest of our virtues are only shadows of what they could be.

Honesty has been defined as fair and straightforward.  I find most business professionals prefer the truth,” I am sorry sir, but we cannot meet the timeline you expect, but can do it one week after that.” rather than…”we will get it done”  (and then deliver late).  Have you ever been stuck in the phone loop at a company listening to the music, praying your time will come soon when you hear them say, “Sorry for the wait, a representative will be with you shortly.”  Ten minutes pass, then 20 and all you keep hearing is that message that is CLEARLY a lie.  I much prefer when I call somewhere and they say, “Your current wait time is 15 minutes.”  At least then, I can make an educated decision on whether I want to wait.

Being honest grows a better business and a better person.  What situations do you encounter where you think Honesty is or is not the soul of business?

You have to try!!

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan

I love that quote by Michael Jordan.  A fantastic basketball player and a great leader.

Are you afraid to try?  Recently I was talking with my son and shared a quote with him from Wayne Gretsky, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  We were talking about just trying.  Whether it is sports, work or just life in general, you have to put yourself out there and try.

At ByDesign Technologies (www.bydesign.com)  we are offering a Spanish class twice a week during lunch hour.  I have been attending and trying to learn.  This week, the professor said, “Ok, next week we will have a quiz.”  My heart sank, “a quiz?  This is not good, this was supposed to be fun…a quiz? I gave up my lunch hours for a quiz? I don’t have time to study, what am I going to do?!?”  Breathe…..Then I realized that it was ok, if I failed the quiz, at least I could say I tried.  I didn’t back out, I didn’t walk out, I didn’t kill myself trying to cram…I simply tried.

How do we balance what we want to become with who we are?

I believe it comes in the trying, the failing and the getting yourself up off the ground and doing it all over again.  As Michael Jordan said, that is why I succeed.

You cannot run with lots of baggage

Do you watch those sappy movies where someone gets off a plane, drops their suitcases and runs into the arms of their love?  It is so touching isn’t it?

In real life we all carry around baggage;  our past problems, emotions, bitterness, hurts.  We all have them.  Why are some people are able to lay down their suitcases and move on with a successful life while others drag them everywhere they go?

I think it is a multi-step process:

  • First you have to admit that you have baggage
  • Second, you have to make a conscious decision to separate with your baggage.  To some of us, that old bag has become a form of security and letting go means opening ourselves up to the same hurt
  • Third, Once you have made the decision, you actually have to let go
  • Fourth, You can’t pick it back up
  • Fifth, Every day, you consciously leave it behind….it is hard, but each day it gets easier
  • One day, you realize you didn’t even think  about that old bag

I am sure there is a lot of success in your future.  What bags are holding you back?  Put them down and run!!!  A better future awaits!!

I am just me

In America, when you first meet someone, within the first few minutes the question will arise, “what do you do?” We had some friends over from Australia and they quickly picked up on this. At one point the gentleman asked, “Why does everyone keep asking me what I do?” We all looked at him rather strangely and then one of us said, “We were just wondering?” He went on to explain that in Australia it is very uncommon that a person’s profession comes up in conversation. He said that you talk about a person’s interests and their family, but rarely their job. I began think about that and somehow it seems so right! Why does it matter if I am housekeeper or an executive.

My value is not in what I do, but who I am.

Today think about where you place your value. Is it about moving up the corporate ladder at all costs or is it moving up the corporate ladder by encouraging those around you?

I was speaking recently with a friend and I reminded her that what we do is going to change as we go through life. I have had many jobs. I have worked as a mail clerk, a secretary for tow truck sales, a stay at home mom, a teacher, an executive (and the list continues…). It is important that I realize I am valuable because I am me. The stuff that is inside of me matters most. I should always demonstrate good character, love, compassion, good will…..these are the things that move me forward in life, not a job title.

We are kidding ourselves if we think titles earn us respect. Respect is earned by how we treat others.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think? Why are titles important??

Serena speaking to a class

I had the opportunity to visit my son’s school and speak about what I do. I talked with them about what we do, how we built the company, the products our clients sell and about technology in general. I walked away shocked at how privileged my children are because of the nature of the business environment they are raised in.

Jeff has worked in software their whole lives. In 2000, he opened ByDesign Technologies, a software company that services the direct sales industry. He had a vision of creating a software company that not only provided great software but great customer support and over time we have built a great company.
While in the process of building the business, my children have helped dump trash cans, clean white boards and put together computers. They have seen us struggle to write up presentations, heard us talk about finances and know that creating a business requires constant attention and work. They have been there for dinner parties with managers, employees and clients. (Typically they say hi and then go upstairs to hang out with the sitter). They know what the terms profit, loss and demand mean to a business person.

As I was speaking to the various classes (3rd-5th grade), I was shocked at how many children view a computer like a toaster; plug it in, turn it on and it works. They had never considered all the parts or the people that make it work. I had the opportunity to speak to them about a language they had never heard of, programming language. I told them, it was just another language, like Spanish or French, but it is used to talk to computers rather than people.

I was able to tell them about the great customer service people that work for us and how they help companies be successful. By far, the children’s favorite department was QA. One little boy said, “so let me get this right, I get to try to break what other people build and I get paid for that?!?”
I received thank you notes from the kids for speaking to them and I loved them. Here are a few:

“Thanks for teaching us about hardware and software.”
“I want to be QA, it is cool to break things.”

And my personal favorite:
“Thanks for teaching me to be successful, I have to work hard. I learned that from you.”

Industry leaders need to make sure that we are not only leading our companies but the future generations. Please consider taking some time out, perhaps even your lunch break, to speak to a group of kids that are desperate to know about your reality. I think many of us in the technology field find it difficult to put into words what we do but it is vital that we share what we know and plant the seeds of future growth. I know there is probably a school just around the corner from where you work, waiting for you. Will you go?

Serena's family at Thanksgiving many years ago

As Thanksgiving rolls around in the United States, we have so much to be thankful for. I thought I would share a story today about my grandmother.

I was very blessed to know my grandmother. She lived for 96 years here on the Earth and I had the pleasure of getting to know her from the perspective of a child and an adult. My aunt, her daughter, passed away when I was a child. Occasionally, Granny would load all of the grandchildren up for a trip to the cemetery. She told me that there is no pain greater than losing a child. Her pain was palpable and even as a child, I can remember feeling her grief. As we all grew older, Granny lost her vision so I would drive her out to the cemetery when she asked to go. Each time we would go, we would follow the same procedure, we stood over the headstone, then walked to where the statue of Jesus was and then sat quietly on the bench.

When we were sitting there, my Granny would tell me a story about how devastated she was about the loss of my aunt and how in the early days she could find no consolation. She said she would come to the cemetery and sit on the bench and just cry. One day, she said, she cried out to God to give her a sign that her daughter was ok. Within a minute, she said she began to hear a mockingbird in the tree beside her sing the most beautiful song. She said it sang and sang and sang. Eventually, she had to leave, but the bird kept singing. She took this as her sign that her daughter was fine. She liked to return to the cemetery to be reminded of that wonderful gift.

Several years ago, my Granny passed away. I guess the body can only hold out so long. I was very sad and even though I understood that she was in a better place, I could not help missing her. She was buried in the same cemetery as my aunt and grandfather. The day after the funeral, I went out to the cemetery. It was very quiet and peaceful. As I followed procedure, I stood over her headstone, walked to the statue of Jesus and then sat quietly on the bench. As I sat there crying, a beautiful bird began to sing in the tree beside me, then it was joined by another. Together they sang and sang. I could not help but wonder if this sound was sent by my Granny and my aunt, who were now together. Half laughing, half crying, I sat and listened to the beautiful song of the birds. I had to go and get my children from school, but I hated to leave. What a sweet blessing.

I have returned occasionally to the cemetery but have not seen or heard the birds again. I think they must have been heaven sent.

As Thanksgiving draws near, it can be hard to celebrate when you are missing family members, but even though my Granny will not be at our table, her sweet potatoes and sweet memories will be. It is a great day for us to celebrate our memories and create new ones. May your Thanksgiving be blessed with much joy, laughter and giving of thanks.